Tuesday, September 27, 2011

1 Down!

Well, I did it! My small meals, no frills, and counting all those points paid off. I lost 1.4 pounds last week! So my first goal has been met: To Lose 1 pound.

Yep. 1 pound.

That might not sound like that big of a deal to the rest of you. But it is to me because of this story from my past:

Back in 1998, I worked at DHS. They had a company-wide healthy employee initiative to get their employees to lose weight and be healthier in general. You could register a team of coworkers so I did. Along with various other ways to be healthy, losing weight was a prime component. I resolved to lose 10 pounds.

So I started exercising. And exercising. AND exercising. The next week, I hopped on the scale and had lost.......0 pounds. So I changed my goal. I said you know, 10 pounds is an awful lot. How about I just try to lose 5 pounds.

So the next week I exercised. And exercised. AND EXERCISED! And I lost.......0 pounds. GRRRRRR!!!! I was so frustrated! I thought if you exercised you were supposed to lose weight. I got so mad that I exclaimed, "I just want to lose 1 freaking pound!! I just want the scale to MOVE!"

So the next week, I ate smaller meals. I cut out candy. I exercised harder and more intensely than I had the previous 2 weeks. I hopped on the scale and had lost.........1 pound! FINALLY!

Of course, then I realized just how hard it was to lose 1 pound. I was happy for that, but also frustrated because I had to do all that over and over again for 10 MORE TIMES! But then, I don't know if I read this somewhere or just thought it, but I realized: If you lose 1 pound a week, you'll lose 52 pounds in a year! Wow! Wouldn't losing 52 pounds be nice? (heh, back then I didn't have 52 pounds to lose but I might have that much now.....)

So from then on, I realized it's all about the baby steps. That's how babies learn to walk -- one step at a time. That how Dave Ramsey helps you get out of debt and get your finances in order -- one step at a time. So that is how I will lose weight and regain my health -- one step (pound) at a time.

Friday, September 23, 2011

176

There. I said it. I finally admitted it, came to terms with it, and resigned to do something about it.

I joined Weight Watchers.

Never in my life have I joined Weight Watchers or even wanted to. Of course, never in my life have I weighed this much either. Unless you count the end of my pregnancies. I think I'm still under that ceiling. (I would always quit counting when it got towards the end so I don't know an exact amount.)

I went to my first meeting on Tuesday. It was good. It was all ladies which seemed to help. I wasn't even the youngest! There was at least one other lady there who had kids 13 and 11 years old. Most of them were grandmothers, though. But that's ok. They all seemed really sweet. :)

When I stepped on the scale, I was almost apologetic. I told the lady doing the weigh-in that I didn't know how or why I had allowed myself to get this big. She smiled and sweetly said that that is what most of them there that day would say, too. It made me feel better. Well, until the scale groaned. But at least someone understood.

So I've been counting my points and eating my fruit for 4 days now. Tuesday was fun. I had that initial energy. That newness about things. That "this time it's going to be different!" feeling. I also had to come home and bake a german chocolate cake for Jim's birthday. And eat a piece. Which I calculated using my nifty new PointsPlus (tm) calculator they sold me. It was 12 points. For one piece. My daily points allotment is 29. Yep. You do the math. Luckily, they also include 49 "extra" weekly points that you can use at any time during the week. So you don't feel deprived, they say.

Wednesday was ok. Fruit is all 0 points. So you can eat as much of it as you want, within reason. I've never downed so many pieces of fruit in my life! (well, ok, it was only like 2, but I haven't eaten 2 apples in the same day in a long time.) I had to go out yesterday and buy more just so I'd have something to eat!

Thursday, I failed. I did ok until supper time. We were having spaghetti with meatballs. While it was cooking, I looked up how many points meatballs have. Two meatballs have 10 points! (gasp!) I'm used to having 4 or 5 meatballs. All of us are! J4 even likes them! (But that's ok b/c he's a baby and needs the fat. Oh to be 1 again!) I served myself less spaghetti than I normally do, but probably not as little as I should have. Then, I got so frustrated, I caved. I had 3 meatballs, parmesan cheese, AND a roll. I had 7 points remaining for the day, I think. I went in the hole about 13 points. And that was WITHOUT dessert, people!

I'm hoping this is just my body freaking out over having lots less food to work with. These 29 points are not very many. No wonder they say that if you stick to the program you WILL lose weight! They don't let you eat anything!!!!! Hopefully my stomach will "shrink" and I'll be happy with less food. Then I'll be eating normal amounts and get back to a normal size.

But tonight we're going out to eat like we do every Friday. This is what those extra 49 weekly points are for. But I'm down to about 15 of them. And they've got to last until Tuesday!

So I'm going to chronicle my journey back to thinness, or at least away from fatness for all of you who care to read about it. I hope I don't embarrass myself with these postings. Encouraging comments are welcome! But please don't tell me to start eating sprouts or asparagus. Life is too short, you know?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Why?

This year alone, I have known personally 2 families that have lost a child. I've also known 2 others who had their babies WAY early. Like at 24 and 26 weeks.

As I sit here watching J4 pull all my papers off my desk and make a huge mess on the floor, I wonder why. Why did I have a healthy, full term baby while these other women did not? Why is my baby living and thriving while theirs did not? I feel guilty. Kind of like survivor's guilt, I guess.

These other women are very healthy. They aren't crackheads or on meth. They have college degrees and jobs. They are all Christians. They probably read the Bible and pray more than I do, too.

So, why?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Something (an update)

So I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks. I should write something. So I did. (see title of my post)

I thought I would give everyone (all 4 of you) an update on my life and my family.

Jim
Jim is still working at Acumen Brands, and he is as busy as ever! He keeps websites like Scrubshopper.com, Toughweld,com, The Baby Habit.com and others running. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. 365 well, you get the idea. It's not unusual to hear him up at 3am fixing something. He works so much, in fact, that they are considering hiring him some help. This would be great! Although, my mother reminds me that the fact he works so much is why they pay him the big bucks that allow me to stay home. Hmmm. She does have a point. I guess I'm like Joe Walsh of the Eagles, "I can't complain but sometimes I still do"...... :)

Alpha
Alpha has started 5th grade. At her school, 5th grade is considered middle school. She LOVES it! I think it is the perfect balance between elementary and jr. high. They have lockers and change classes, but they are in the same "pod" of rooms all day. So they don't have to trek all the way across campus to another building while stopping by their locker and the bathroom. She feels so grown up. It's cute to watch! At church, she is continuing as an acolyte and also playing handbells. This summer, we got her a book on how to play the recorder and she enjoyed furthering her skills in that instrument. (I enjoyed playing around with it, too!)

Beta
Beta has started 2nd grade. She is in a class with several of her friends so she's excited about that. She's also starting GT (Gifted & Talented) classes this year. So far she loves them! Jim and I are excited for her because we were both in GT. Over the summer, she was bitten by the music bug! We've been doing "piano lessons" for about 2 years now, off and on. She pushed herself to get past where Alpha was in the book, and then continued to push herself to learn music that was actually on a staff. She ended up finishing the Primer level book and is now in Book 1. I have to do lessons when she asks for them, otherwise she will be stubborn and refuse. But like I said, the music bug has bitten her and she wants to learn to play even more songs. Needless to say, I am VERY excited about this!

J4
As you probably saw a few months ago, J4 is walking! He's been walking for 3 months now so he's really getting good at it. Which means I'm getting faster, too. :) We've also determined that he loves cars and trains. Anything that GOES. He plays with his Thomas the Tank Engine toys several times a day. He also has to be holding a Hot Wheels or Matchbox car whenever he's not playing with Thomas. He is still not talking, exactly. However, he can say the first syllables of several important words such as: mama, dada, bye bye, girl, car, cracker, dog. He learned some of the baby sign language and uses signs for "more" and "drink" constantly!

Me
My life goes from one extreme to the other. I am either sitting around hopelessly bored, or am I so busy I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Staying at home this time around is different from 10 years ago. Back then, it was just Alpha and I. She didn't go to Mother's Day Out until she was 2. So we had LOTS of time together and I ended up BORED. This time, that's not the case. I didn't realize how busy it made you to have 2 kids in school. We aren't even involved in any after school activities, really. There's just so much more to think about and do now.

One thing I have started is teaching piano lessons. To kids who aren't my own. :) I've got 1 student so far and might possibly have 2 more. After teaching Beta this summer, it got me inspired to try and teach others. I've seen several requests from my friends on facebook for piano teachers so I know there's a need. I'm also seriously looking into doing taxes on my own for this upcoming tax season. I would love to do just enough to keep my skills up and earn enough to cover the CPE (continuing professional education) required for my CPA license.

Our schedule really starts up next week. Alpha's handbell practice got changed from Sundays to Mondays. So we'll be at church on Monday afternoons. I'm hoping to convince Beta to do piano lessons in one of the other rooms while we're waiting on handbells to finish. Otherwise, Mondays will be very long days. Next Wednesday, our church's Wednesday Nite Live starts up again. This is when the girls go to Timothy Team, the children's Bible study, and the adults take classes as well. Jim and I will be teaching another Financial Peace University class. This time, though, we'll be the only coordinators. We've very excited about that! Please pray that we'll strike the right balance between teaching and cheerleading (motivating) so we can really help the participants change the way they handle money. We also teach Beta's Sunday School class. That has been going on for 3 weeks now. We've had 27, 25, and 24 students! If these numbers stay high, they will split the class into 2 classes. Historically, the number of students attending drops significantly after Labor Day. Which is sad from a Christian perspective, but looks pretty good from a teaching one. :)

So there you have it. You knew we were up to "something", didn't you? ;)