M.O.T.H.E.R.

M is for the many things I need
O is for obstinate children, of which I have three.
T is for temper tantrums, which happen day and night,
H is for hives...oh what a fright!
E is for everything else I forgot
R is for remembering the three blessings I got!

No, I'm not a poet who didn't know it. I just saw the wonderful irony in celebrating Mother's Day with three children, whom I dearly love and devote almost every waking moment to, who did almost nothing but fuss and fight for a good half of the morning. So I composed this little ditty in my head. (To keep me sane.....) LOL!

Oh Brother! Not the Mommy Wars Again!

So I heard on the news a few weeks ago that a Democratic "operative", (ok, show of hands...how many of you think of spies or Burn Notice when you hear that word?) said that Mitt Romney's wife, Ann, had not worked a day in her life because she was a stay-at-home mom.

Oh geez. As soon as I heard that, I thought "Hooo boy are some people gonna be MAAADDDD!" I have to admit, it bothered me a little bit, but I honestly don't judge my value based on some talking head's ill-spoken opinion. Besides, there were plenty of other women and moms who got mad for me. So why waste the energy?

It did bring me back, momentarily, to what is called the "Mommy Wars." This is the ongoing, modern struggle between what women should do after they have children. Should they put their child in childcare and keep working at the job they held before they gave birth? Or should they quit their job in order to stay home and keep said child.

As a mother for nearly 11 years now (yes, they go by way too fast), I've dealt with this issue since day 1. My own struggle has gone something like this:

BC (before children): Know there is no way I'm going to be a "housewife" when I grow up. I'm going to have a career, albeit one that is flexible and allows for me to take care of my children.

PG1 (pregnant with #1): Decide to stay home for "6 months tops!"

6 months postpartum: came and went

1 year postpartum: Tour daycares. Thought I'd get childcare before looking for a job so I'd have that taken care of. Come home distraught and hyperventilating at the thought of putting my daughter in day care. lol! (I can laugh at that now....)

2 years postpartum: Decide I'm either having another baby or going back to work.
2.9 years postpartum: Have 2nd baby.

2nd Baby at age 1: Work part-time doing finances at our church.
Year Later: Work tax season while both girls are in Mother's Day Out.

After we moved, I went to work 24 hours a week doing taxes and bookkeeping. I did that for a little over 3 years. I even upped it to 30 hours a week on a regular basis and 45+ hours per week during tax season.

3 years 3 months later: Had 3rd baby. Quit work to stay home.

As you can see, I've done both. I've worked. I've stayed home. I've worked part time and I've worked (more than) full time.

Which is better?

Well, for the first 3 years of my motherhood, staying home was better. After that, working some was better. Now, staying home is better again.

The thing is, the answer is different for everyone. I truly believe it depends on your family's financial situation, your temperament, and what your goals are.

I know moms that stay home. I know moms that work. I know moms that work and should probably stay home. AND, I know moms that stay home but should probably work!

I really wish that every mom could be supported no matter what her choice. In fact, I think that is the secret to reducing the amount of guilt the mom feels based on her choice.

Well, I could talk on about this subject, but it's late and I can't come up with an eloquent, thought-provoking, leave-em-wanting-more conclusion. So I'll leave you with this:

Call your mother. (She worries.)
Tell the moms you know that they are doing a good job and to hang in there. No matter where "there" is. :)

Cake Pop Fail

(This post is actually the second one about J4's birthday. Scroll down and read about his birthday first and then come back to this one. I know. I should have posted them in reverse order. Sorry!)


Ok so where was I? Hmmm, oh yes! The cake pop's for J4's birthday.

J4 LOVES big trucks. Diesels, 18-wheelers, delivery trucks, fuel trucks, cement mixers, the list goes on. So I thought that would be a great theme for his 2nd birthday.

And instead of a cake, I'll do cake pops! Now that I've perfected my technique, I figured it would be a piece of....um, yea.

I had some German chocolate cake already baked and in the freezer. I had planned to try making German chocolate cake pops for Valentine's Day with Xuan Huynh. Well, plans fell through and we never got to make them. So I thought I'd use the leftover cake for these cake pops. Bad idea.

I don't exactly know what went wrong. The cake was already VERY moist when it thawed. I don't know if it was wet from being frozen or if it was just that moist as a cake. Or if the German chocolate aspect had anything to do with it. But when I mixed the frosting with it, it came out looking more like thick batter than shape-able dough.

So I added some flour. Then some cocoa. Then some powdered sugar. Then more flour. I lost track of how many thickening agents I added to absorb some of the moisture! Nothing worked. Finally, with the clock ticking down and still no presentable "cake", I had to drop back and punt.

I baked an entire new cake. A yellow one this time. (it was all I had) I also discovered a secret that I'll use in the future. I didn't want to bake an entire cake because we were going out of town the next day. So I made 24 cupcakes instead. I would decorate 12 for our small party and then we'd just eat the rest plain.

Here's a picture:

So that's what I did. I then pulled out my old Wilton decorating tips and colored some icing black. (or tried to. Dark colors are hard.) I used yellow candy melts, which were already round, as the middle of the tires. I used the best "rope" technique I could remember and made the tires. I was actually kind of proud of myself! For the other cupcakes, I used chocolate frosting with the basket weave tip to make tracks in dirt. Or kinda like that anyway.

THEN, since I had 12 cupcakes left, I got brave. Going back to my original plan, I made cake pops! Now, yellow cake with chocolate frosting looked a little strange inside. Not bad, but not swirly or anything like that. (The white ones I made at Christmas were much prettier.) I used the small circle cutter I had bought to make them tire-shaped. They were huge! They almost wouldn't stay on the sticks. For reference, I smashed up 6 cupcakes to mix with the frosting and I got 6 cake pops out of it! I probably would have gotten 10-12 normal sized cake pops out of those 6 cupcakes.

I then dipped them in chocolate and used the yellow candy melts, still unmelted, as the middle of the tires.

Picture!

Honestly, I liked my cupcakes better. So all in all, I was happy that I had had to go to Plan B. Back to my future reference (haha!), I've decided that instead of making a cake and freezing it for cake pops, I'll make cupcakes. That way, I can only thaw 4-6 and not have to make 30-70 cake pops each time. I can just make 10 - 20. Also in the future, if I try tire cake pops again, I'm going to skip the cake altogether and use marshmallows! I'll cut them in half and insert the stick. That should make smaller tires that stay on the stick easier. So I was glad to have a Plan C as well!

I learned a lot that day. :)

Happy Birthday, J4!

TWO YEARS!!!!!

Has it really been two years since I gave birth to my precious little boy? How did that happen? WHERE does the time go? It all goes by TOO fast.

Since we now live 3 hours away from most of our family, our birthday celebrations have changed. In Little Rock, I'd let both sides of the family know and we'd have lots of family over for cake and ice cream on the Saturday closest to the child's real birthday.

Now, though, they are spread out. This is somewhat embarrassing to say, but my kids get approximately 3 birthday celebrations each. I know! #First world problem.....

For J4, his first celebration was on his actual birthday. We went to Fun City Pizza. All 3 kids love it there. Their pizza is good, too. They also have very good deals and it's very affordable. So mom and dad like it, too.

His second celebration was at Grandmary's house in Searcy. Grandmary is Jim's maternal grandmother. We had lots of family there and some that we haven't seen in 7 years!

His third celebration was at Grandmother's house (my mom) in North Little Rock. This time, we had even more family than we usually do. And there was family there that we haven't seen in 10 years! 15 years even!

So I'm pretty much done with birthday celebrations for awhile. At least until May when it's Alpha's turn.....

Pictures!!!! (I'm only going to post ones of his first birthday celebration. I've posted the others on facebook.)

J4 on a Tonka truck ride at Fun City. I promise he smiled AFTER every picture I took!
Playing more games. (ok, not really. Shhh! Don't tell him it's not really on!)
Sitting in Daddy's lap and playing racing games for real!
Plan B for the cake
They're truck tires and tire tracks in dirt, y'all! Can't you tell? (please tell me you can tell....) I'll write about my cake conundrum in another post.

My original idea that actually became Plan C.
These are supposed to be cake pops as truck tires.

Either way, I think he enjoyed them.

His balloon.
His plates and napkins.
Presents!
Mighty Machines! These videos were made back in the 90's. We found this one at Wal-Mart for $4.88! He LOVES them!
An awesome, steel Tonka dump truck!
And if you think GIRLS don't like trucks, I've got news for you.
Last but not least, Momma!

Music

One week ago today, I had the awesome privilege of accompanying the West Fork High School and Middle School choirs to their regional Choral Practical Assessment. (yes, ironically for me, it's abbreviated CPA)

As I did last year, I not only accompanied them TO the place, I accompanied them on the piano. Yes, I'm now "that lady" whom nobody knows who shows up every so often at school and plays the piano!

The choirs this year sang wonderfully! ALL of the high school groups, including women's, men's, concert choir, and chamber singers, got a Superior rating! Isn't that awesome?! To say they were all excited would be an understatement. The middle school received an Excellent rating as well.

The contest was held at the Arend Arts Center at Bentonville High School. This facility rivals the Walton Arts Center in form and function. MANY other high schools in the region are jealous. (Heck, *I'M* jealous!) The fam and I attended a performance of "The Nutcracker" there a few years ago. What I didn't realize back then is that the facility is attached to a gymnasium and the rest of the high school. So the way they had it set up, the choir went to a "holding area" before entering the warm up room. This holding area was in front of the gym.

Which got me to thinking.....

MANY young people these days play sports. Soccer, basketball, baseball, football, etc. In fact, it's almost impossible, though not quite, to find a youngster who hasn't participated in any team sport at some point in their elementary years. The reasons all these kids play sports are many and varied, but some of the biggest reasons cited include learning teamwork, learning responsibility, and being a part of something bigger than yourself. These are all very good things to learn. However, is sports the only way to learn those things?

As I watched these choirs prepare for last Thursday, these 3 things materialized right before my eyes.

Teamwork - you have to listen to the other people in your section and blend. You can't make the entire section sound better by singing louder than everyone else.

Responsibility - in singing, you must sing with "tall vowels." That means you can't sound like a hick. You have to sing more in Queen's English than redneck. :) If even ONE person doesn't use a tall vowel sound, the entire section sounds wrong. And boy does it stand out!

Something bigger than yourself - In choral singing groups, you must ultimately do what is best for the group even if it's not what you think is best for you. What you create together is much more inspiring than any one part by itself. (In 4-part choral music. Not getting into acapella soloists here!)

Back in the fall, a musical group that one of my children is in was trying to determine when to practice each week. One mother was very honest and said upfront, "Well, if there's a conflict between this and basketball, we're going with basketball!" Now, PLEASE don't think that comment is what inspired this post. I really appreciated her honesty. Music groups aren't for everyone. What do you think would have happened if the Manning boys' mother had insisted they forego football to be in band? What if Michael Phelps' mother had forced him to take piano lessons instead of swimming? See? The world would have lost out on a great deal of talent. So I'm not trying to make this a "down with athletics" post.

But watching these kids (KIDS I tell you! The oldest are only 18. I'm old enough to be everyone of them's mother! lol!) prepare and then present this music convinced me that parents who are focused solely on athletics to help prepare their children for life are really limiting their possibilities. (Unless their kids really ARE future Peyton Manning's or Michael Phelps's) Their kids could possibly miss out on one of the best team building exercises there is - being in a musical group.

To conclude, youth sports do have their place. They certainly aren't bad. Nor am I trying to say that they're ok but music is better. But if you've tried youth sports and your child doesn't like it, or if your child refuses to do sports at all, try music. Learning to play an instrument or sing is a skill that will stay with you the rest of your life. Also, unlike sports, the child will probably be able to perform that skill the rest of his or her life. Most NFL players retire by their 40's while it's not unusual to see conductors working well into their 80's. So give music a try. Sign your child up for lessons on an instrument of his or her choosing. Let them be in band. There's a world of wonderful possibilities for those who can make music. :)

How to Get Rich

A friend of mine shared this article on facebook. It's from CNN Money and is titled "How the Rich became the uber Rich." I clicked on it for lack of anything better to do. After reading it, I'm here to declare that this article is bunk!

Here is a quote that doesn't make any sense:

"In 2009, the richest 10% of Americans accounted for about half the nation's wealth. Narrow that focus a bit further, and the trend is even more alarming. The top 0.1% -- those who make at least $2 million each year -- controlled 10% of the economy.

That's a far cry from the 1950s, when the suburban American dream ruled: the bottom 90% of Americans controlled about 68% of the economy."

So, in 2009, the richest 10% of Americans accounted for about HALF, that would be 50%, of the nation's wealth. Ok, so? Is that so bad? I have nothing to compare this statement to so I don't know. But the article tells us this is "alarming". Then it brings out even more doom and gloom by claiming that the top 0.1% controlled 10% of the economy. What does this even mean? How do you "control the economy?" Is that the same as owning half of the nation's wealth? Do the top 0.1% own 10% of the nation's wealth?

But THEN, the article really brings in the reaper by declaring that this is a "far cry from the 1950s, when. . . the bottom 90% of Americans controlled about 68% of the economy."

So let me get this straight. In 2009, the top 0.1% of Americans controlled/owned 10% of the economy. Which would then imply that the bottom 99.9% controlled/owned 90% of the economy. But this is a horrible thing because back in the 1950s the bottom 90% controlled about 68% of the economy.

How is this a horrible thing? The bottom 90% now control 1/3 more of the economy than they used to! Does this make any sense to anyone? Because it didn't to me.

For me, this article raised the question, "how do you become rich?" The headline seems to imply that "the rich" only got that way because the government helped them through its policies.

Oh, boy. Where to start....

Jim and I are currently leading Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class for the 3rd time. Dave Ramsey became a millionaire in his 20s and then lost it all. He filed bankruptcy. After that, he met some of these uber rich. He took them to lunch. He asked them how they did it. This class, Financial Peace University, is the result of those meetings.

FPU teaches that the pathway to "financial peace" is to follow these 7 "Baby Steps." They are:

1. Get $1000 in savings in the bank.

2. Pay off all debt except the house.

3. Save up 3-6 months of expenses for an emergency fund.

4. Save for retirement.

5. Save for kids' college.

6. Pay off home early.

7. Build wealth and give!

Nowhere in there does it say "Wait for the government to give you money." Or "take advantage of government programs and policies for maximum wealth."

So how did these uber rich get rich? They worked. They produced. They saved. They built better mousetraps. They did things faster, better, cheaper. They didn't spend money they didn't have by using credit cards. They didn't buy the latest and greatest car for $0 down and no interest for 84 months! (7 years????? really????)

They are Bill Gates. Warren Buffet. Donald Trump. Steve Jobs. Not only are (were...RIP Steve) all of those guys uber rich, they DID things. You can put a name to the things they've accomplished. (Microsoft, Berkshire Hathaway, Trump Plaza, ipod, ipad, iphone, ieverything.) They probably took advantage of some government policies along the way, but for the most part, I'm pretty sure "the government" didn't make them "rich."

So when are people going to start understanding that it's up to YOU to make yourself rich? No, you might not get uber rich, but you've got to start somewhere. Start by getting yourself out of debt. No more credit cards. No more car loans. Save up and pay for things! Spend less! No, don't bury your money in the backyard or under your mattress. Austerity won't help the economy either. But spending only within your means is a good first step.

And certainly don't try to get rich by reading articles on CNN!!!!

Happy Birthday, Beta!

I have been remiss. Saturday a week ago was Beta's 8th birthday. And I didn't post about it!!! So I guess it's time for some pictures.

But first.....a look back.
Baby Beta with her motorcycle blanket. :)

First Halloween - she was a pumpkin.

This is at the Old Mill in North Little Rock. I think she was 1. This is one of my all time FAVORITE pictures of the girls!

Dance Recital age 4.

Silliness!

Presents at home on her real birth day this year.

Her party at Fun City Pizza. Yes, she loves Justin Bieber. She claims to want to be "Mrs. Bieber." We've tried explaining that he's 10 years older than her, but she'll hear nothing of it. LOL!

The cool thing about being the birthday girl at Fun City. You get extra tickets which allow you to "win" an inflatable pink guitar! Ah well. She was happy and had a GREAT time. So it was worth it. Happy Birthday, Beta!