So I was in Target this morning, buying a few things. As I stood in the checkout line, a woman with a tiny baby in a carrier got in line behind me. I remarked at how precious he was and asked how old he was. 9 days, she said. Wow, I replied. You're out and about at 9 days? You're doing really well! She said she had a 2 year old so this was really old hat to her. She also said she had not had an epidural and that she was feeling great! Oh, I had c-sections so I wasn't out and about at 9 days, I replied. She said, "Oh, see, I couldn't do that. I just don't like needles."
But in my head, I thought, did she think I had a choice? I would have preferred to avoid the whole needles in my back, surgery-thing, too, you know. I went in to labor on my own. I labored for 8 hours without drugs! I TRIED! I even pushed! For 4 exhausting hours! But the baby wasn't coming out.
Now I don't want anyone to think this lady was rude. She was very nice, especially for 9 days postpartum. lol! And I had struck up a conversation with her. So it's not like she forced her opinion on me or anything even remotely like that.
But it brought up the whole idea that women have a choice in how they give birth. I know. I know. You have a few choices. But labor and childbirth are so unpredictable! You never know when you're going to be the one needing the emergency c-section. Or the one with a huge tear. Or the one with a baby who doesn't breathe fast enough and needs oxygen. Or the NICU. I'm glad the lady apparently had a natural, uncomplicated, drug-free birth. That is certainly the ideal and definitely the best way to go. IF YOU CAN......
But then there's the rest of us.
I guess what irked me was the thought that, "well, I just won't have a c-section because I don't like needles." I had decided I wasn't having a c-section either because THEY WERE BAD. But when push came to shove, or rather, to nothing (i.e. no head) I had to have one or the baby and I would have died.
Finishing our conversation, the baby was sleeping and the mom said that he's been doing that a lot. I smiled and told her to enjoy it because she knows it doesn't last forever. She chuckled and said yea.... Then we both went on about our business.
3 comments:
Aw. U know IRS like that toddler wisdom. U get what u get and u don't throw a fit! But sometimes u do. I can relate to what she said. My only reason / modivation for going sans drugs was the idea of the needles in my spine. That fear was enough to push me through all the prep for a "natural" birth. But u can't feel like that makes me or her some superhuman. Just different. Devon still ended up in the hospital for a week. And all of our babies turned outhealthy. And happy. And u are a great mom. Just a different path. All good roads. Wish I could correct typos on this iPhone! IRS = it is. =)
That's a neat way to put it: you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. lol! I hope no one thinks that I have anything against natural childbirth. My only beef is that sometimes, what you want to happen, doesn't. I never wanted a truly natural birth, but I wasn't prepared for the fact that I wouldn't even be ABLE to have one. I think that's what bothered me the most. I ended up having a c-section b/c that was my only option at that point. That's why when some people, not this lady, act like they would NEVER have a c-section, it bothers me. If I could have chosen how things would go, it wouldn't have been the way they did. But, like you said, my baby was healthy. All 3 of them have been. And now you certainly can't tell which kids were born via c-section, natural, or with drugs.
I was able to go "all natural" with my first 3, but like you said, things don't always go as planned and that's where I think people need to be sensative. I had planned an at-home water birth with nathaniel, but ended up C-section because no one could get him to turn. It was a lot more difficult recovery than the other 3, but I still got the same result: a healthy baby. He or I or both would have died if it weren't for modern medicine.
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